thoughts

i wonder if anyone actually reads this. lol

ive made a new youtube account- DuctwearTv. why? cuz i make stuff out of duct tape and i want people to know.

okay. so. im battling in my head if i should finish up my school work or take a day off (more like hours) and do some hobby work.

-i have my fursuit
-duct tape bags i wanna get started on
-buy more duct tape (i think ive spent more than 40 dollars on duct tape alone this summer.
- the sketch comics
-ballpoint pen portraits
- and anything else i might come up with. lol. uploading videos to youtube


ive been battling since 5 today and its been nearly three hours. i think im gonna start on that essay for college 101 on friday and THEN see wat ill do. cuz ive been inspired by a lot of people lately to make duct tape clothing. or more accessories. out of duct tape.


i plan to make bandaids. and belts. i have another pair of shoes im gonna cut up and rebuild.

on another note, im thinking abotu getting a job. i need one. its like mandatory. i feel like a spoiled child sittin here, wasting my time with duct tape, foam, and glue guns. my parents are always complaining about the bills. we're like on the borderline of poverty and middle class. and my mom and i got in another yelling match in the van on the way to school.

because we talked about cars. she was like "your dad will get you a car" i immediately get pissed over this because it could have been cleanly avoided had he not banned me from working when i was in highschool. i could have bought my own. i wouldn't be straining everyone's check books. he told me he was going to do it four months ago! i've been waiting for my permit for three years! and still haven't got either one. why?

i believe their conspiring in some odd way that they think i dont and CANT know about. if they are, ive found them out. and im not happy. my mom was just complaining and complaining and all i had to say was "WHOS FAULT IS THAT?!" i am NOT ending up like danny, living with his parents at 24. and hes getting married next year. gawd. it must suck.

i wanna be out of this house thats not even mine. i have to, however, call it home for now.

though i am grateful that i have a TEMPORARY home, and not one where everyone wants you out. ive been able to at least BREATHE and smell the coffee for the first time. its been great. i love having my room back. i love having my SPACE. i love being able to change without getting walked in on. same thing for showers. i love having quiet evenings to think and be happy that i have a roof over my head and clothes to wear.

and i also think about those that dont have that. then im not all that mad about why i couldn't get those $50 vans and that $100 pair of jordan's. dude those guys at finish line are questionable. they dont have HALF sizes D8< im an 8 1/2. FAIL. what if i really was gonna buy those amazing nike's that i saw yesterday? ooooooo i wouldda been MAD. they were 6's on display.

i love shoes. im sorreh i just can't help myself i am female and love to indulge in sweet kicks.

i also love pants. and shirts. and accessories. no one on earth really understands.

just kiddin. i like wat i like.

my dog and i have been besties for three years. itll be four in march of 2011. its gonna be emotional. shes like my kid. i take all the responsibility for her mistakes so my dad wont take her back to the shelter i found her in. always. shes like the only one that actually KNOWS- if you know what i mean. she knows me in my opinion, better than anyone ever could. and she can't say a word

thats the best part.

shes rly expressive. i dont know if its because ive been aroudn her for the past three years. but i can tell how shes feeling and vice versa. she knows when im doing projects. she knows i dont like to be disturbed when doing so. she is very afraid of duct tape because of the sound it makes when im cutting strips. very afraid of the electric knife because of the sound it makes when cutting through the foam. very afraid of my glowsticks because she KNOWS FIRSTHAND that it STINGS if your within proximity.

cassie is the most cowardly dog ive ever met. cowardly when nothing wierds going on. she acts up some days....im still not too sure why. but she goes into beast mode some days and barks at the door, the garage door, the air, or something. Idunno! its like she can see something i can't...and she doesn't like it.

omg my dad likes twilight. the world is coming to its pitiful end.



blah.