and were back

to the blogging. had a decent week. realized that i may or may not still be going through some little uhm.....adjustments within. monday totally screwed up my vibe so i didnt' take advantage of the week.....didnt grab it by the horns. i just kinda....let the horns run me through. lol.

i need a new idea. to draw off of. i dont know what. but boredom has set in. and i dont know if i should go looking for ideas. the decieved has officially been ABANDONED.

dont ask. its not even complicated.

were almost done with august folks.....oh how time goes by so fast...its amazing....if your having fun, that is. if your not, the time just seems to go by all the more slower so that you can bask in your own misery for THAT MUCH TIME. see how time works? it adjusts itself to your moods. lol. just kidding. time waits for no one. not even if your oprah.

it will run you over if your not ready. thats why im so afraid to space off. ye never know what you might miss ye kno? especially in school! gawd. ipay good attention. but sometimes i get the urge. and then people start talking to me and in my head i mumble "screw you" and have to come back to earth.

i gently set my things down as i come home. i came home to the tv blaring, everyone in the living room and a very excited mutt. the usual. i had my coffee, again. just cuz i want to. im not addicted. i look over my room to make sure everything's the way i left it when i left almost 10 hours ago. and i go eat my dinner. everyone loves chicken. comee back, take off my tags, my keys, my glasses, my jacket, search my pockets, take out everything from there, and settle on in.

i have another weeks worth of projects to do. homework for observational drawing is simple. i just have to draw things i see in front of me and draw little things big so my teacher can say "this is quite nice" thats the best anyone will hear from him. he'll never tell you its "perfect" or "very good" its "its quite nice" i kinda like that cuz you dont wanna think you've done too well because you never really stop learning. striving to be better, that is what im doing. this class isn't really helping. im just using techniques i discovered on my own all over again. basically a review of last year. not even learning anything in particular. i spent 4 hours of my life on monday drawing an arrangement of POPCORN.

POPCORN.

fortunately i ate the arrangement before the professor could come around to scrutinize my work and how good the proportions were.

scale is just like anxiety. you make something little something big. i had to fill the large piece of paper with details. all four sides of the paper drawn on. it wasn't hard. im used to doing that with pictures i draw from my phone. the screen is small. i nonconsciously make myself better. drawing small pictures on big paper. ive been doing it.

my dad thinks that im still like really inexperienced and that he needs to put his input on stuff im doing. "print it out in blak n white-" i know dad......i know.....

i shouldn't have coffee in the evening. i get headaches.

acting class is real fun. thheres really no other definition.

i registered for classes next quarter. got my little card that says "pass" i think its for this party thats gonna go on next next wednesday. i should get my new schedule at the end of this month i think. or by the end of september. hopefully.

apparently i get a shirt. for being one of the first 100 people to register for classes. im number 56. oh aren't i lucky.

i do believe im gonna make something out of the sketch comic.

which remains unnamed. i dont know what i should call it until i finish. i dont even know the story for this thing. but ill figure something out. to fit what's already taken place. because i dont feel like starting all over just because i made one little change. uggghhhh i dont feel like talking about my artwork anymore.


its got no meaning. headed in no direction. its a mess.

my head hurts. ugh.

well.....life isn't bad.

ive been being a really really wierd variation of christina
ive been putting together this video. of me being
myself in my natural environment- my room.

its been going fabulously. but i have to put aside my "pleasure" projects and focus on school. i started piecing together this thing last week. ive been busting my little behind in school. it is now that ive come to a realization

you need your imagination to get through art school. where's mine?

dead. why?
ive been thinking,and i think its because i just haven't been trying hard enough- or that im trying TOO hard. i dont know if anyone can follow me on that one. its all supposed to come really easily. children can do it in seconds. give em the opportunity and they'll overwhelm you with ideas. lol. me? LIFE has come to get me. so i kind of had to grow up.

grow up, and make things boring. ive been fighting it, but thats.....not working out well. im trying to keep my childish mindset for sake of school.

ive made friends..... i only see alex on mondays. she's really cool. real funnay. we're almost identical to each other. its just the way we look on the outside thats different.WILL IT MAKE A BIG BANG? WILL IT WALLOP OR MAKE A BIG BANG- same with diana- shes come off to me as a good artist and a good friend. she and i sort of come from the same background. sometimes i think she stole my life story. lol. but in reality its the same. Isabelle is a photography major, shes wacky, walks fast (lol), shes like one of those people you know, but you dont feel like you KNOW them. Megans a graphic design major. real cool. ive never heard her sing, but shes the lead singer of speekrbockz (im sorry thats just the most obscure way i could spell it. correct me if im wrong) i believe their local. shes a go-green person. shes having an effect on me cuz i can't look at milk the same after she told me what was in it. lol. ive got a soft spot for silk chocolate soymilk

harris is awkward. though i make him laugh all the time. all we talk about is kingdom hearts and sephiroth's emo shoulderpads. everyone else that i could mention is in my acting class.

i really should be studying for the midterm tommorow. lol. we've all basically turned into one big family. we're comfortable around each other, have the most amazing "WHAT THE WORLD" moments, and i laugh the hardest in that class. our first improv session was last week. ive never LOL'ed so hard in my life. even though i was blank, i was enjoyed it. that class makes me feel good about being my own person. and acting as a completely different person is allowed. so everyones all deceptive n stuff. lol. all we really do is play games and laugh.

like little five year olds. and i love et.

WeLL ive got to deliver Leigh's wallet to her houese in a few hours. if you want duct tape stuff, email me at ductwear_for_you@yahoo.com or message me on facebook. photo gallery is also on my facebook, www.facebook.com/christina.samos its called "stuff i make out of duct tape" cant miss it.

my fursuits been layin around for the past month. i have to get to it before holloween! lol. i watched quarezzel fur a mask last night and thought to myself "who knew it was that easy!" i make things all complicated n whatever. the duct tape patterns aren't even necessary. just cut off a big block of fur and slap it on with a glue gun and then go back and cut where necessary n trim the front.

gorilla tape is the next thing on my to-do list. my duct tape shoes- not sticking to the base. their FINE, but the fronts wahts bothering me. ive tried spray adhesive, and crazy glue and more duct tape and its just not working all that well. so. im going to buy gorilla tape and see if that works. cuz im bout to cut up some converse when i get some free time within the week, or next week, or the weekend.

their airwalks, so it really doesn't matter. lol. if they were allstar's, i'd go around it a bit differently. sam's shoes fit me. shes a 9 now and shes 11.

watever man. i gotta get bak to drawing. ill update next week.

thoughts

i wonder if anyone actually reads this. lol

ive made a new youtube account- DuctwearTv. why? cuz i make stuff out of duct tape and i want people to know.

okay. so. im battling in my head if i should finish up my school work or take a day off (more like hours) and do some hobby work.

-i have my fursuit
-duct tape bags i wanna get started on
-buy more duct tape (i think ive spent more than 40 dollars on duct tape alone this summer.
- the sketch comics
-ballpoint pen portraits
- and anything else i might come up with. lol. uploading videos to youtube


ive been battling since 5 today and its been nearly three hours. i think im gonna start on that essay for college 101 on friday and THEN see wat ill do. cuz ive been inspired by a lot of people lately to make duct tape clothing. or more accessories. out of duct tape.


i plan to make bandaids. and belts. i have another pair of shoes im gonna cut up and rebuild.

on another note, im thinking abotu getting a job. i need one. its like mandatory. i feel like a spoiled child sittin here, wasting my time with duct tape, foam, and glue guns. my parents are always complaining about the bills. we're like on the borderline of poverty and middle class. and my mom and i got in another yelling match in the van on the way to school.

because we talked about cars. she was like "your dad will get you a car" i immediately get pissed over this because it could have been cleanly avoided had he not banned me from working when i was in highschool. i could have bought my own. i wouldn't be straining everyone's check books. he told me he was going to do it four months ago! i've been waiting for my permit for three years! and still haven't got either one. why?

i believe their conspiring in some odd way that they think i dont and CANT know about. if they are, ive found them out. and im not happy. my mom was just complaining and complaining and all i had to say was "WHOS FAULT IS THAT?!" i am NOT ending up like danny, living with his parents at 24. and hes getting married next year. gawd. it must suck.

i wanna be out of this house thats not even mine. i have to, however, call it home for now.

though i am grateful that i have a TEMPORARY home, and not one where everyone wants you out. ive been able to at least BREATHE and smell the coffee for the first time. its been great. i love having my room back. i love having my SPACE. i love being able to change without getting walked in on. same thing for showers. i love having quiet evenings to think and be happy that i have a roof over my head and clothes to wear.

and i also think about those that dont have that. then im not all that mad about why i couldn't get those $50 vans and that $100 pair of jordan's. dude those guys at finish line are questionable. they dont have HALF sizes D8< im an 8 1/2. FAIL. what if i really was gonna buy those amazing nike's that i saw yesterday? ooooooo i wouldda been MAD. they were 6's on display.

i love shoes. im sorreh i just can't help myself i am female and love to indulge in sweet kicks.

i also love pants. and shirts. and accessories. no one on earth really understands.

just kiddin. i like wat i like.

my dog and i have been besties for three years. itll be four in march of 2011. its gonna be emotional. shes like my kid. i take all the responsibility for her mistakes so my dad wont take her back to the shelter i found her in. always. shes like the only one that actually KNOWS- if you know what i mean. she knows me in my opinion, better than anyone ever could. and she can't say a word

thats the best part.

shes rly expressive. i dont know if its because ive been aroudn her for the past three years. but i can tell how shes feeling and vice versa. she knows when im doing projects. she knows i dont like to be disturbed when doing so. she is very afraid of duct tape because of the sound it makes when im cutting strips. very afraid of the electric knife because of the sound it makes when cutting through the foam. very afraid of my glowsticks because she KNOWS FIRSTHAND that it STINGS if your within proximity.

cassie is the most cowardly dog ive ever met. cowardly when nothing wierds going on. she acts up some days....im still not too sure why. but she goes into beast mode some days and barks at the door, the garage door, the air, or something. Idunno! its like she can see something i can't...and she doesn't like it.

omg my dad likes twilight. the world is coming to its pitiful end.



blah.

fursuit progress- not good.

ive been gathering materials as ive been starting on it. bad sign. bad bad bad sign. i might fix the muzzle, and i still need freeking springs, nuts n bolts so this thing can function properly for me. i can't find my wallet. BAD SIGN. my anxiety issues are making me anticipate the worst. even tho i KNOW it can't be that serious.

as far as the fursuit goes, i think its turning out fine. beautifully even. i may need a new piece of foam. i got the big block you see for $15. it makes up to 2 partial fursuits. loll.

its a 3 inch. so its great. i may in fact buy a frikin roll of this stuff if i decide to make n sell fursuits.

ive been getting lots of requests for duct tape items. mainly just bags. and well. no communication is being done. so im rly anxious about future commissions. i dont trust people much, so payment is something to do first before i go and work on something for you. because ive done stuff for people (rly amazing things) that they forget that they have to pay for it, and they think im just gonna give it to them for free (UHM. NO.) and then i just end up keeping what they want. and they get mad. cuz they think they can walk all over me. and take advantage of me that way. and they collect dust. for YEARS>

yeah.....i have trust issues. dont waste my time.

i used to be really nice about it. give them a week or so to pay me, but latar on, i realize that their not gonna pay me anything at all a month later, so. yeah. im not like my dad anymore.

and then i have problems keeping my sisters out of my room. they touch things they shouldnt. my resin eyes have been touched. theres a huge DENT on one of the half-spheres im gonna use for the suit- and sams the only sister thats here currently, so im gonna chew her out when she gets home.

YOU DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES TOUCH ANYTHING IN MY ROOM. NO MATTER WHAT IT IS. DONT.

i get rly rly mad if i find ONE thing out of place. this small DENT could rly HURT the realistic effect the eyes will make.

and they might be a little too big. so. may need to make another few smaller eyes....hehe.....D8;

i got so lightheaded last time. and dizzy. and *vomits*

its a chemical. so thats normal. i remember junior year when i almost threw up after a lab. "DONT INHALE THE FUMES. THEYLL MAKE YOU PUKE."

i was just settin around all "lalalalal-" and then suddenly my body tensed and heaved and my lunch was in my mouth again. i had to swallow it bak down.

dont do that. if you need to throw up, DO WAT YOU MUST. DONT HOLD IT.

i think if i cast four more of these devils, it might have a positive effect on Alv's eyes, which will be brown. i will make the best painting of brown eyes that i possibly can. im modeling them after my dogs, which are more golden/yellow/ orange/brown. its rly pretty.

frustration from retarded prerequisite classes that you absolutely MUST pay for at the art institute. computer classes, acting class is starting to piss me off. i dont know whats wrong with me, i think after i moved out of my aunts house i became more of a realist. because of my art teacher. she made me draw what was real, not what COULD be real.

i think ive been potentially handicapped. ive begun to think that the acting class excersizes are so retarded. and stupid. thats not good. ive been terrible to my creative mind.

the professors even started to seem a little OVER THE TOP for me. hes a fat energetic man with an attitude. when he gets mad, he acts happier. when hes not, hes just happy. its like were working with a potential child predator.

this kid chris annoys the heck out of me. he thinks eveything were doing is so stupid and he wants to head straight for the actual ANIMATION things. he pisses me off. not only is he bringing down everyone elses mood, but hes just making it more clear to everyone that he smokes pot.

i hate people like that. "oh this is so stupid" i thought i got rid of these people when i graduated HIGHSCHOOL. nope.

wrong. there are a few bring-down-your-mood people. and i didnt get rid of all the ANIME-tards that are SO bent on making their own anime. i feel kind of alone whenever people talk about what they love to do- and most of its anime- and videogames- and im like "im inspired by disney" and everyone looks at me like im from another planet.

wow. im in art shcool, where "wierd" is taken to a new heights every day, and their staring at me like that.

its good, because ye know, you are your own person, everyones unique in their own way. blahblahablaha, and then, THEY think IM weird. lol. i feel like i belong there, but some people make me question myself.

do i have to be into anime to get someones approval?- OF COURSE NOT. i would rather turn on the straightener, and clamp it down on my flesh for a few minutes. i just have to keep telling that to myself.

now i need clear varnish paint. poo!. UGH.