first post of 2011

GAWD. im bad at keeping this up.

maybe its cuz ive been busy. yus.

whats happened this past month? o-0. i dont know. i started school.

it looks like im gonna be working my my tail off more than usual this quarter. tho i got by this week by a thread, im kinda iffy about actually WORKING.

im bad with that. lol. i know i should be sketching and sketching and getting more refs and concepts done, but im too busy watching Full Metal Alchemist.

its been about 43 episodes? yes? ive been completely enveloped in this series. omg. GUYS. i think this is it.

im almost done with season 1. its going to be great. i rly hope this doesnt turn out like frkn naruto.

i bought my ticket for anime matsuri. im so stoked. its gonna be wild. from what alex told me, going early would be my best bet. tho everyone's gonna be at school on friday o-0. so. might have to message ashlee about her going to the con. Because im not going to be held bak by a few pplz. Lonestar's anime club is apparently REALLY BIG. soem ppl should be going. hopefully ppl i KNOW.

ive stopped eating breakfast. Dx. dont ask. i just dont want.

and i wake up like in the affternoon anyway. so its no big deal.

dad lost his job AGAIN. and were back to struggling to pay the damn rent. my 17 year old sister is paying the rent. Dx and whenever the subject comes up, she will accuse me of being a lazy bitch who doesn't do anything but sit around on the computer all day. its not a lie. and i do feel bad that i can't rly do anything right now but go to school. she will occasionally go off on me. make me feel bad. but i know that in the end, everything will pay off. but i will be seriously indebted to her.

i feel like a grown cheetah cub that hasn't been abandoned by its mother. when theyre about a year old, their mother just leaves them to fend for themselves. right now. its like my mom hasn't left and im still depending on her for my survival and my younger sister's the one bringing home the bacon, and my dads just in the corner, basking in his failure.

i swear. god really doesn't like my dad.

i know i was taught that all things happen for a reason, but right now it looks like he's being punished for living his life the way hes been doing so. even if we try to live godly lives, it still

isnt


good

enough.

i learned a valuable lesson that day......i can learn a lot from my dad.

1) go to college
2) dont have kids until you finish college
3) sometimes church just isn't the answer. it just makes you more of a damn hypocrite than you think you are.

srsly. NOW that he's lost his job twice within 2010/2011 he's had three jobs, and insists on working on computers/IT, whatever. now he goes for prayer. oh. i see. NOW YOU NEED GOD. it wasn't like that when you had the helion job. ugh. it makes me sick.

my uncles been unemployed for abtu a year now. my aunt for about 6 months. i dont know how their surviving.

i dotn know how IM surviving.

things could be worse. but im not going to think abotu that right now.




whatever. moving on.

i found chester after a few months. and a good set of earphones. so you could say im content.

im learning japanese. ive been on it for abotu a month now. i think im getting a little too ahead of myself. lol. but i can understand a few phrases, read a little, and write in hiragana well but not so well in katakana. been working on forming sentences, memorizing the order of things, and repeating them out loud, talk to my dog or something, ANY METHOD to get it stuck in my head so that it remains there.


well now. i think i better get back to work now.

mata ne.